Sunday, October 3, 2010

Healings and New Beginnings

I haven't written a blog in almost a year. The reason? I didn't really have anything to say that hadn't been said by others many, many times before. So, my poor blog sat here alone and neglected.

And then June 30th, 2010 happened.

I have written about this in my journal but I couldn't write about it online. It was and is the worst thing I have ever experienced. It was the day my husband/soulmate made his transition to the realm of the ancestors. There were no signs, he was in perfect health until that day when a blood clot went to his heart and he was gone. I won't go into more details because it still is very fresh and personal to me. Suffice it to say that I loved him as I have never loved another and this love opened up my capacity to love others. For that, I will always be grateful.

So that brings me here, sitting in a hotel room the day before I return to Atlanta, the place we lived. I put all of my things in storage and made a beeline for my cousin's home so that I could be around people and not have to look and the home we built together. For almost three months, I was in her home and tried to remember how to live happily again. So that's what this blog is going to be about: My finding my joy in things that have made me happy in the past. I'm going to Atlanta to see my friends and to confront my fears. To see the places we went to as a couple and remember. I don't know what I'll experience but my plan is to blog it here. I know I'll be happy again but somedays, it looks very bleak. After Atlanta, I plan to go to Hawaii and spend some time at the Great Mother Ocean and tell her my woes. That's what you do, you know. When you hurt, you go and tell your Momma and let Her take away your woes.

As I rebuild upon what was my life, I expect wonderful things! I want to get my holistic health care business up and running, I want to live in a wonderful warm climate, I want to get back to vegan cooking for my family and friends. And I want to laugh and dance and sing and drink good red wines LOL! Let the next phase of my life begin!!!

1 comment:

Talibah said...

You are amazing and your joy will return. Feeling all of the emotions helps but is also very overwhelming and it is natural to pull back when it gets too painful, but the fact that you are doing this blog and pushing yourself to be out in the world is astounding because it took me a lot longer to get to this point. I went to the ocean to be healed also, or at comforted. I am sending love to you, hold on little sis.